Chet's Cheap Grub Grill --Food Frivolity and Adventure Stories
Thursday
Episode 12 -- Chet Discovers the Secret of the Pinetree Line and Tasty Fish Tacos
My Russian captor with his woman following, led me at gunpoint down a small tree-covered ravine and finally into a well secreted cave covered with hanging flora. The inside of the cave was surprisingly large. Animal hides covered the walls and light from a fissure above made the surroundings seem quite comfy. Smoke wafted through the natural skylight from a fire burning in the corner. The decor consisted of a small wooden table, two wooden chairs and a large wooden bed at the far end of the cave. Everything was obviously homemade and bound together with leather strapping. A dusty shortwave radio sat on a well worn tree stump in one corner. The golden sickle and hammer on a field of red hung on the far wall.
"Sit. We eat now," Vasya said. The woman pulled a large fish from the fire. It was wrapped in some type of leaves and tied with twine. She sat it on the table. Next came a large dutch oven full of some sort of bread product shaped liked saucers. I watched as my hosts pulled of hunks of fish and placed them in the bread and ate the combo like a taco. Vasya gave me the go ahead with a nod of his head and I dug in. Incredible taste! We washed the grub down with cups of Stoly. Vasya gave his critique of the meal with a loud belch. After refilling our wooden cups Vasya stared at me and said, "So my -yank my doodle it's a dandy - friend, you want to hear the sad tale of Captain Vasya Pupkin, Soviet spy?" We stayed up late as Vasya told his story while the dancing shadows from the fire kept us company.
In the early 50's the Canadians (RCAF) along with the Americans (USAF) built a system of radar stations that stretched from coast to coast. They were built as an early warning system to the Soviet air threat. Its codename: The Pinetree Line. Not to be outdone, Ivan placed agents within rock throwing distance of each one of the radar stations. The agents job, when the time came, was to jam each of the radar systems to allow Soviet missles and aircraft to invade Canadian airspace undetected. Each agent went through extensive woodsman training so as to be able to forage off the land and stay virtually invisible to the local residents. While on a daily hunt, Vasya discovered Wha-te-no-loc-ah-she-nah (translation: child whose mother was scared by buffalo) tied to a tree. Having been cross-eyed from birth and not the handsomest of children, the elders of her tribe, the Blackwater Indians, decided she was witched and had left her to die tied to the tree so she could not follow. Not having seen a female in years, Vasya decided to set up housekeeping. When the Russkies pulled their agents out in the 70's, Vasya decided he liked the outdoor domestic life and never showed up at the rendevoux to make his escape back to mother Russia. His comman law bride made monthly foraes into town to barter for supplies with woven baskets and hand made wallets.
I slept well that night having met a new comrade and realizing that we are, after all, just one of God's little chillin, be it one ugly Indian (man she sure could cook) or a Russian spy.
What-te-no-loc-ah-she-nah Fish Tacos
Ingrediments:
Fresh fish fillets (catfish, cod, halibut-- any white fish)...but for those on a budget let's use that imitation crab meat. (same stuff they use at Subway)
Frozen dinner roll dough (uncooked)
Lettuce, tomato, Vitamin O
Paul Newmans Italian Dressing
Oil
Utensils:
Frying pan
Pull cord from a lawn mower (optional)
Lets Cook:
Defrost the rolls
Manipulate and stretch the roll dough with your fingers until you get a circle about 8" in diameter. Do this with your shirt on so you don't get chest hairs on the dough
Cook in hot oil until brown on both sides
Drain on paper towel
Add shredded lettuce, diced tomatoes and Vitamin O
Top with hunks-o-fish
Drizzle some Newmans dressing on
Fold like a taco and get after it
If you splurge and buy the good fish, simply fry it up in a little olive oil and break off hunks to go in your taco.
This Just In:
-A Texas woman called 911 to report that her daughter had kicked a hole in the wall. The dispatcher (who was reprimanded) responded, "Do you want us to come over and shoot her?"
www.time/notebook.com
-About to be traded? Here's a large hint. Cincinnati Reds pitcher Aaron Harang took the mound wearing a uniform that read CNCINNATI.
-It's that time of year again...sleeping out in the back yard and looking for satellites and listening to KOMA. KOMA is gone but you can get your free Mag-7 Star Charts here> cloudynights . Thanks and a hat tip to www.boingboing
Chet Sez For A Healthy, Happy Life:
-don't swallow fruit seeds especially watermelon because the fruit will take seed and grow in your stomach. (thanks alot Uncle Mose you asshole for telling me that when I was a little kid).
-older people should always wear some type of footwear rather than go barefoot. Try some hi-tech flops with good arch support for hanging out
-for a good "cleansing" check out the Lemonade Diet
-kiss your wife goodbye in the morning
"Sit. We eat now," Vasya said. The woman pulled a large fish from the fire. It was wrapped in some type of leaves and tied with twine. She sat it on the table. Next came a large dutch oven full of some sort of bread product shaped liked saucers. I watched as my hosts pulled of hunks of fish and placed them in the bread and ate the combo like a taco. Vasya gave me the go ahead with a nod of his head and I dug in. Incredible taste! We washed the grub down with cups of Stoly. Vasya gave his critique of the meal with a loud belch. After refilling our wooden cups Vasya stared at me and said, "So my -yank my doodle it's a dandy - friend, you want to hear the sad tale of Captain Vasya Pupkin, Soviet spy?" We stayed up late as Vasya told his story while the dancing shadows from the fire kept us company.
In the early 50's the Canadians (RCAF) along with the Americans (USAF) built a system of radar stations that stretched from coast to coast. They were built as an early warning system to the Soviet air threat. Its codename: The Pinetree Line. Not to be outdone, Ivan placed agents within rock throwing distance of each one of the radar stations. The agents job, when the time came, was to jam each of the radar systems to allow Soviet missles and aircraft to invade Canadian airspace undetected. Each agent went through extensive woodsman training so as to be able to forage off the land and stay virtually invisible to the local residents. While on a daily hunt, Vasya discovered Wha-te-no-loc-ah-she-nah (translation: child whose mother was scared by buffalo) tied to a tree. Having been cross-eyed from birth and not the handsomest of children, the elders of her tribe, the Blackwater Indians, decided she was witched and had left her to die tied to the tree so she could not follow. Not having seen a female in years, Vasya decided to set up housekeeping. When the Russkies pulled their agents out in the 70's, Vasya decided he liked the outdoor domestic life and never showed up at the rendevoux to make his escape back to mother Russia. His comman law bride made monthly foraes into town to barter for supplies with woven baskets and hand made wallets.
I slept well that night having met a new comrade and realizing that we are, after all, just one of God's little chillin, be it one ugly Indian (man she sure could cook) or a Russian spy.
What-te-no-loc-ah-she-nah Fish Tacos
Ingrediments:
Fresh fish fillets (catfish, cod, halibut-- any white fish)...but for those on a budget let's use that imitation crab meat. (same stuff they use at Subway)
Frozen dinner roll dough (uncooked)
Lettuce, tomato, Vitamin O
Paul Newmans Italian Dressing
Oil
Utensils:
Frying pan
Pull cord from a lawn mower (optional)
Lets Cook:
Defrost the rolls
Manipulate and stretch the roll dough with your fingers until you get a circle about 8" in diameter. Do this with your shirt on so you don't get chest hairs on the dough
Cook in hot oil until brown on both sides
Drain on paper towel
Add shredded lettuce, diced tomatoes and Vitamin O
Top with hunks-o-fish
Drizzle some Newmans dressing on
Fold like a taco and get after it
If you splurge and buy the good fish, simply fry it up in a little olive oil and break off hunks to go in your taco.
This Just In:
-A Texas woman called 911 to report that her daughter had kicked a hole in the wall. The dispatcher (who was reprimanded) responded, "Do you want us to come over and shoot her?"
www.time/notebook.com
-About to be traded? Here's a large hint. Cincinnati Reds pitcher Aaron Harang took the mound wearing a uniform that read CNCINNATI.
-It's that time of year again...sleeping out in the back yard and looking for satellites and listening to KOMA. KOMA is gone but you can get your free Mag-7 Star Charts here> cloudynights . Thanks and a hat tip to www.boingboing
Chet Sez For A Healthy, Happy Life:
-don't swallow fruit seeds especially watermelon because the fruit will take seed and grow in your stomach. (thanks alot Uncle Mose you asshole for telling me that when I was a little kid).
-older people should always wear some type of footwear rather than go barefoot. Try some hi-tech flops with good arch support for hanging out
-for a good "cleansing" check out the Lemonade Diet
-kiss your wife goodbye in the morning
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