Chet's Cheap Grub Grill --Food Frivolity and Adventure Stories

Joey "no lobes" Schlepatchio




Recipe of the Week: Chet's Famous Egg-Potato-Meat Pancake

Birth of the Recipe:
I was between careers when I hired on as the mop boy at an up-scale restaurant in Miami Beach. The Chez Porpoise had a large beach front clientele frequented nightly by what the local heat referred to as "persons of interest with ties to eastern mob activity." It was rumored that actual ownership of the place fell in the lap of one Joey "no lobes" Schlepatchio.
I was finishing mopping up in the kitchen early in the AM when in walks this palooka that looked like he had catcher mitts for hands and a suspicious bulge under his obviously expensive herringbone coat. " You the only one around bub?" growled the gorilla.
"The name's Chet," I shot back at him.
Staring at me with a newfound respect, the goon replied, "Ok Chet. Again. You the only one here?"
"Just me and old Mose the night watchman," I answered.
"Here's the lowdown Chet. Mr. Piscarnino and myself have had a busy night and we both would like a little breakfast. You know how to run that stove?"
"I can cook with the big gas." What's in it for me?"
The very large man moved surprisingly quick for his size and reached me in two steps. He lifted me up by the neck with his XXL paw until my feet were doing a silent tap dance a foot off the floor.
"What's in it for you Muttsy is you get to keep your head attached to your shoulders instead of me hiding it in one of those Le Creuset souz pots."

Ingredimentianos for Chet's "Under Pressure" Early Morning Potato-Egg-Meat Pancake
Eggs -- half dozen
Potatoes -- 2 or 3 -- left over from lasts night BBQ work great.
Vitamin O -- one large onion
Diced green chilis or jalapeno's -- optional but oh very tasty.
Margarine (used to be called Oleo in the old days)
Vegetable Oil
Meat - optional - left over steak, hamburger, ham, meat bits picked off of last nights pizza
Utensils:
- Spatula
- Wooden Spoon
- Good sized skillet with a cover
- Medium size rubber playground ball and a can of "KiWi" Cordovan shoe polish (optional)
Let's be cooking!
Melt the margarine and a little V oil in the skillet over medium heat. The V oil helps to keep the margarine from burning.
Add your diced Vitamin O and saute until they turn transparent (invisible-like).
Add your meat product. Left over steak cut up in strips, left over hamburger, pepperonis picked off the left over pizza -- whatever you got. Saute with the unyoun.
Add your cut-up left over potatoes to the mix. Stir so the spuds mix with the Vitamin O and meat product.
If you don't have any left over spuds go ahead and micro a couple, wrap and let them steam in foil for 10 minutes. Dice em up and add to the mixture.
Let this mixture cook on medium for 2- 5 minutes stirring occasionally. Stir in the chilis.
Crack about three or four eggs on top of the mix and break the yolks... or not. It's your painting. Paint it however you like. (quote from that artist guy on PBS)
Cover the skillet, reduce heat and let cook for a few more minutes checking to see when the eggs are done and not runny. When done slide it on your big person plate and enjoy.
You could also beat or whip your eggs before you add them to the mixture. Also, you can put some of the "pancake" between a hamburger bun or rye toast.

Celebrity Phone Call of the Week:
I tried to call Robert DeNiro but his number was unlisted both in Los Angles and New York.
It's really hard trying to call celebrities.

Chet Wonders Why?

Cat's drink out of toilets. They eat garbage and birds and insects and mice. They clean themselves by licking their furry bodies, including the area around their little pink button. But...if you buy SnoBall a can of food that's on sale instead of Fancy Feast he turns up his nose. It makes you wonder what the cheap stuff is made of.